


Symptoms

by NemiMontoya



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, One Shot, Pining, Romance, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:28:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24294358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NemiMontoya/pseuds/NemiMontoya
Summary: "Such strange turns his life keeps taking. Being stranded here and finding solace in this ragtag group - Hawkeye especially - is odd enough, but then, to his utter amazement, Charles begins to experience... symptoms."
Relationships: Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce/Charles Emerson Winchester III
Comments: 12
Kudos: 41





	Symptoms

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! If you like, kudos and comments are greatly appreciated.
> 
> I had so much fun writing the Charles/Hawkeye fic I posted the other day, that I wanted to write another short one. Enjoy.

”Complete and utter buffoon”.

That is how Charles decides to think of Hawkeye Pierce upon first meeting him. Other than that, he has no inclination to think of him at all. Nor does he have to. He’ll be leaving soon after all. He will go back to Tokyo and forget all about this hideous place and the lunatics living here.

But then he isn’t. His temporary assignment becomes permanent. Shrugging off Hawkeye Pierce is no longer an option, and Charles sets about despising the man full time, with gusto.

As it turns out, doing so isn’t as easy as he expected it to be. Pierce has a way of getting under his skin. He’s not as sure of himself as he used to be. And though he wants to pretend otherwise, he starts to understand that Pierce’s accusations of arrogance and selfishness may be entirely accurate, and he takes tentative steps to improve himself. It’s humiliating, but Charles realizes he wants to give Pierce a somewhat better opinion of him.

It’s equally humiliating to discover that he’s actually starting to find enjoyment in Pierce’s company. His sense of humor - however juvenile - is a welcome distraction from the nightmarish state of his life. They still trade barbs, but there’s no venom in them. It feels to Charles like they keep insulting each other more for the fun of it than anything else. He catches himself thinking of the man as Hawkeye instead of Pierce. He doesn’t call him that, but he thinks it.

He thinks that somehow, Hawkeye has become his friend.

Such strange turns his life keeps taking. Being stranded here and finding solace in this ragtag group - Hawkeye especially - is odd enough, but then, to his utter amazement, Charles begins to experience… symptoms.

He hears Hawkeye’s high pitched laughter approaching - the same laughter he’d thought so grating at first - and he feels a little flutter inside his chest. Being patted on the shoulder by Hawkeye produces a rush of warmth deep in his belly. He sees Hawkeye go into the supply room with a nurse and he feels a sharp stab of jealousy. He spends an inordinate amount of time thinking about Hawkeye’s expressive eyes.

Charles really doesn’t need to be a genius - though he is one - to form a diagnosis: he’s infatuated.

He spends several days stressing out over this fact, wondering if anyone has noticed, and missing the loving support of his sister Honoria something terrible. Then, they’re hit with a deluge of casualties and he has no time to worry about anything other than keeping his patients alive. Afterwards, he lies on his bunk, too exhausted to go to the showers and wash off two days worth of sweat, listening to Hawkeye snore softly in his sleep, and he thinks to himself that this lovesickness is nothing more than a minor inconvenience, and if he lets it run its course it will go away soon enough.

Naturally, it doesn’t.

For every day that passes, for every _minute_ that he spends in Hawkeye’s company, his infatuation grows roots in his heart which continue to spread until Charles has to admit to himself that he’s so utterly in love that he doesn’t know what to do with himself. Charles sees him sitting in Post Op, bags under his eyes from lack of sleep, lighting up because he managed to coax a smile out of a traumatized young soldier, and Charles finds his whole _being_ just so heartbreakingly lovely. He sees Hawkeye grin mischievously at him from the other side of the chessboard (”I’ve got you beat this time, Chuckles”!) and his longing is so great it's physically painful.

Charles has never loved like this before, and it frightens him. Romantic attachment used to be of far less importance than his duty to his family. He used to have a clear plan of life goals: become the most successful surgeon in Boston, marry a suitable lady and sire offspring to continue the Winchester legacy. ”I’m a Winchester” used to be his mantra, but these days the words sound increasingly hollow. He starts thinking that if Hawkeye would return his affections he would gladly leave it all behind without regrets.

Not that Hawkeye ever would. Should he have any attraction at all towards men, then surely BJ would be a far more likely candidate. Charles often thinks to himself while wallowing in self pity that on a list of men likely to inspire romantic interest in Hawkeye, he himself would probably be on the bottom. And if Hawkeye sometimes says flirty things to Charles with a wink, it doesn’t mean a thing. That’s clearly just his usual teasing.

How could it possibly be anything else?

But then… Charles starts noticing symptoms in Hawkeye.

His smile is softer. Fonder. His hand lingers a little longer when patting Charles on the shoulder. Charles thinks he can feel Hawkeye’s eyes on him when he isn’t looking.

Diagnosis: ...further observation required.

Oh, he wants so _much_ to hope, but the hope is almost as painful as the longing.

Then comes a night when Charles and Hawkeye are heading home from Rosie’s Bar in a state of complete intoxication, holding a passed out BJ up between them as they stagger back to the Swamp. They deposit BJ on his bunk, pulling the blanket over him, and Hawkeye throws his arm around Charles.

”Isn’t our boy just _precious_ , honey?” he says looking down at BJ with exaggerated adoration.

”Oh, indeed, my dear,” Charles says, putting his arm around Hawkeye. ”An absolute angel. You can tell by the wings under his nose.”

They erupt in a fit of drunken giggles, holding on to one another. But then the mood shifts. The giggles fade away, and they’re suddenly just staring at each other. The air between them is heavy, and Hawkeye’s eyes fall on Charles’s lips.

Charles only has time to think ’ _please’_ before BJ wakes up with a start, green around the gills, and Hawkeye has to hurry him off towards the showers. Charles stumbles to bed, cursing BJ’s insistence that he could handle that last shot. Charles tries to stay awake until they come back, but the alcohol in combination with work related exhaustion soon has him out like a light.

He has O.D. duty next day, which keeps him busy enough that he doesn’t see much of Hawkeye. He can’t stop thinking about the night before. He had been inebriated, but he most certainly did not imagined what had happened. Nor had it been fake flirting on Hawkeye’s part. For a moment there - before BJ’s rebellious stomach had so rudely interrupted - Hawkeye had wanted to kiss him. Charles is sure of it.

But the question is: does he still want to?

In the evening when Charles returns to the Swamp, Hawkeye has already left for hospital duty. Charles picks up his copy of Anna Karenina that Honoria sent him and tries to read, but he cannot focus. He’s anxious to see Hawkeye, but at the same time he’s nervous about what will happen when he does.

BJ goes to relieve Hawkeye at midnight. He comes through the door to the Swamp a moment later, looking tired but in good spirits. He smiles when his eyes fall on Charles. A good sign.

”I need a nightcap,” he says, making his way over to the still. ”Can I fix you one, Charles?”

”Thank you, no.”

”You sure know what you’re missing,” Hawkeye says and downs his drink in two swallows. He stands still for a moment, taking long breaths, then shuffles over to Charles.

”I think there’s something you and I should talk about.”

He sounds so serious that when he sits down next to Charles on his bunk, Charles braces himself for a speech of rejection.

”Charles…”

He sighs softly, and then Charles feels a warm touch. He looks down at Hawkeye’s hand covering his own.

”Something has happened between us,” Hawkeye says, suddenly sounding very vulnerable. ”I know it’s not just me. Or is it?”

Heart fluttering wildly against his chest, Charles turns his hand and slowly lets his fingers close around Hawkeye’s.

”No. It most certainly is not.”

Charles looks up to meet his eyes, and with the way Hawkeye looks at him, Charles sees that he’s wanted just as much as he wants Hawkeye. The realization dawns on him like a blinding light, joy filling him to his very core.

”This is dangerous,” Hawkeye says, scooting closer. ”It’s a small camp. If anyone finds out, we could get hurt.”

He puts his hand around the back of Charles’s neck.

”It would be crazy to go through with this.”

”Madness,” Charles agrees, voice thick, as he slides his arm around Hawkeye.

”But that’s pretty much our lives already, isn’t it?”

Hawkeye’s expression is so wonderfully tender.

”This war has taken so much from me already,” he continues. ”I'm not going to let it take this, too. I’m all in, Winchester.”

”As am I. Believe me… there’s no force on earth that could hold me back, if would give me your heart. You already possess mine.”

Hawkeye’s voice is soft when he replies.

”It’s yours.”

With the hand holding the back of Charles’s neck, Hawkeye pulls him closer. Charles tilts his head as he leans in, and they kiss.

Hawkeye’s long fingers caress his face. His mouth is warm and wonderful, and for one shining moment, Charles completely forgets where he is and why he’s there. No war. No wounded. No death. All he knows is that he’s kissing the man he already knows is the love of his life.

And he has never been happier.


End file.
